Lessons from a Graveyard – Revisited
This is an update and look back at what happened in the past year. I had some health issues that have helped me re-exam some things in my life.
After that experience I hesitated to visit a graveyard again. I was in such a bad state that I remember that at my last grave visit it felt like the souls around me were pulling me in…welcoming me.
I had new requests come in for ancestor grave locating, but I continued to decline them. I didn’t want to feel that pull again. Months passed and some new requests came in.
One night I accepted a father and son grave photograph request. I made my way out to the cemetery, however a solid layer of snow covered the ground. I used a grid technique to get myself in the proximity of the graves, but couldn’t be sure of their exact location, because of the solid layer of snow. I also had a limited amount of time because I had to pick up my daughter. Out of respect for the requestor, I declined the grave location. It was going to be too cold and snow-covered for me to locate them.
A couple of weeks after that some new grave locate requests came in. I was again hesitant, but was feeling good and felt I could return again. I decided to check on my cancelled graves and found the requests were still active. In accepting my new grave requests, I also accepted my two previous cancels.
Because of my recent health regroup, I have found myself weighing my visits to the graveyard. On that day, I had four souls to locate and felt good…health-wise.
In the past, after I had located my first couple of graves, I made a vow to always clean up any graves that were neglected, grown over, or covered in dirt. This started because folks looking for the graves needed good photos of the birth and death dates for their records. Since then, I’ve come across graves with bright flowers, pictures, colorful crystal, solar lights, video screens…and those who have grown over…or are covered in soil, grass, leaves, goose droppings or ice.
When I locate a grave I always introduce myself. It’s kind of strange, but I feel I should do it out of respect. I tell them someone is looking for them. Sometimes I say who (if I remember). I know the souls are at rest, but feel it’s nice to have a visitor. Sometimes the graves are fresh and others left to weather and time.
I recently located a grave in a wonderful, above-ground, mortuary. I was VERY apprehensive to go. Why? Not sure. Perhaps a different level of mortality. I parked and walked through, locating the lot and grave number.
It’s one thing to have people buried beneath you or at the same level, like in New Orleans, or in family crypts…but it is another thing to walk through a giant sanctuary of granite, encasing loved ones who have passed.
It was a cold January afternoon and I was the only one around. After locating, speaking to, and photographing the grave I was there to find, I took a moment to reflect on everyone there who had passed. They have all been special to someone and it was important to take a moment, as a stranger, to recognize them. Locating loved ones passed is something interesting to me. I have a love of history. As I made my way to my car, a man passed by me. He was taking advantage of this cold January day to walk the roads of the cemetery. He might has a loved one, however I felt nothing motivates a person to exercise like being around those who have passed.
My favorite part of the experience (selfishly) are the nice messages I receive from loved ones when I send them my photos. Some are researching family history and some are out-of-state (or country) relatives or friends.